Maryland Democrats Accuse Schuh of Russian Ties

Anne Arundel County Executive Denies Charges

Annapolis (SPP) – Maryland Democrats accused Anne Arundel County Executive Steve Schuh (R) of having Russian ties today. Kathleen Matthews, head of the Maryland Democrat Party, stated that she had “firm evidence” linking Mr. Schuh to the Kremlin.

At a hastily organized press conference this afternoon, Matthews argued her case. “First, look at that ridiculous outfit, especially that hat, that he wore the other day while going door to door in Crofton. No proud American, who isn’t on the Kremlin payroll, would ever dress like that. Second, if you visit his restaurants, like the Green Turtle, the first thing you notice at the bar are copper cups for making Moscow Mules, a Russian drink. Third, they serve sandwiches that have Russian dressing on them. Fourth, he backs Trump. Case closed,” Matthews said, as she appeared to slur some of her words.

When asked follow up questions at her press conference, Matthews quickly got defensive. “Look, I’m not the one on trial here. I’m not the one committing treason!” When pressed if she had been drinking, Matthews didn’t deny the allegation, but said that if she had been drinking, it was only “good old fashion American beer. Just seven or eight Natty Bohs and not Russian vodka like Schuh drinks!” Matthews was unable to provide any evidence that Schuh drinks Russian vodka or why that would make him a traitor. Matthews was apparently unaware of the fact that National Bohemian, or Natty Boh as it is commonly called, is owned by a Russian conglomerate.

When reached for comment, Anne Arundel County Executive Steve Schuh called the claims, “fake news!” He added, “If I was taking money from Russia or anyone, no one would ever know about it. I would have the money laundered through my restaurants, which as you know, are great vehicles for laundering money. It’s really easy, or so I have been told.” Schuh went onto say that he couldn’t see how he would be in a position to help Russia and that if he was “on the take” it would probably be for “local criminals and gangsters or other local people who could benefit” from his “protection”. “Not that I’m doing that,” Schuh insisted.